James Gamelan Montague (1870-1925) British author, poet and liberal famous for his Italic textGhost StoriesItalic textand crime stories featuring Detective Drone. Also known in industrial circles for his expansion of the Montague and Sons trade group.

James was born into a large wealthy family in Somerset, who had for generations been cloth merchants. He was educated very strictly from an early age by an aging nanny who frequently featured in his later stories, either as "the evil nanny" or "the nanny goat". James in his memoirs devotes a few pages to her description, mentioning how profound an influence she had on his life. He makes particular reference to her "slot eyes, and almost bearded chin". At the age of fifteen James was taken ill with cholera, as a result of which he spent two years in hospital. It was here that he developed an interest in nurses, and in the contents of their skirts. This is hardly surprising, when we learn from hospital record books that a sister Annie Groat was suspended in 1879 on account of her habit of terrorizing patients "with the contents of her skirt". These contents included snapping turtles, mouse traps, razor blades, and a Punch doll.

At the age of twenty James produced his first works: a selection of sketches for the popular gentleman's magazine Italic textWelsh Priest Hand FanaticsItalic text. Though he had (by his own admission) submitted work before, his editors had refused it on the work that "this is a banana, Mr. Montague". The sketches are inconsequential save that they introduce a sort of preliminary outline of a Drone-like character.

Only a year after these first works were published, James' father died, bequething him the family firm. James (already an experienced businessman) expanded the firm and its profits, and so managed the business that he was never forced to work again.

In 1901, James published the first Drone story: Mystery of a Mysterious Person: a Mystery story. It was met with wide critical acclaim, and made James Montague a popular name overnight. His editors were however originally displeased with James' first story, in his memoirs James notes that "this is another banana, sir. If you come here with another banana again I'm afraid we'll have to strike you from the list".

The character of Detective Drone reocurred in all of James' crime novels after that. The eponymous, self-assured Drone became a popular mascot, and his many catchphrases were repeated by Police Inspectors all over the world. "No, I won't have a cigar" "No, I'm leaving" "Out of the way" were some of the most popular. The two other reocurring characters were none other than Lady Ordella Prune, and Drone's assisstant investigator, Assisstant Investigator Pheasant. The villain was eyepatch wearing mad scientist Doctor Benedict Prioderm, whose various murders and machinations were (usually) foiled by the crimefighting duo. The one slight anomaly is when Dr. Prioderm breaks out of Azkaban and eats all the chinchillas, before being caught by a nuclear death ray.

Drone is the older man in these novels, with Pheasant being the younger, more sprightly man, comparisons were made between Don Quixote and John Philip Sousa, mainly because their first names rhymed.

James died in 1925, after a giant newspaper he was reading collapsed onto the king of the Ignus. The King's crown fell onto a pheasant, and killed it, and James seeign this knew his literary and smuggling career was over, and shot himself with a cannon. A list of his published works follows (interestingly, many works about goats were left unpublished but remain of great interest to psychologists, who claim James was obsessed. These claims have never been justified).

In the interests of a goat

The golden goat

Goat for breakfast

A Banana

Mystery of a Mysterious Person: a Mystery Story

Banana splits

Prioderm gets out

The mystery of Sophecles Bog

Drone on Duty

Drone off Duty

Sponge nanny superwoman

Nanny: woman or...GOAT?

Pheasants and goats

who is this goat?

Blackmail at Sherry Drive

What Drone, your ear?

Who dares goats

the gloating goat boating accident Mystery

Drone on Form

Pheasant with wild chevril

Ghost Stories

A low Drone

Droning on

Memoirs

liberalism in parks directed at children